Many people will tell you that attempting to negotiate your divorce settlement by yourself is a total no-no. This advice is very correct because of the fact there are usually too many emotions involved, and that you can also end up losing almost everything if you do not know what you are doing. The silver lining to negotiating your own divorce negotiation or settlement is that one is more likely to get a win-win situation other than when the lawyers settle it for the both of you; this is because the both of you get to decide exactly what you want, get to negotiate and agree on how best to divide what you have and your schedules with the kids as well, this way, the agreement made is more solid since you do it by yourself and you may even end up in good terms other than in bitterness and enmity. To be able to carry out this negotiation successfully, however, here are a few factors that you should keep in mind.
Checking one's feelings at the door of the negotiation room is the first and the most important factor to remember. There can be no successful negotiations if you start arguing the same way that you did in your marriage a hundred times. Therefore, if you are to even attempt to do these negotiations directly, you have to be sure that you can keep your emotions in check during the entire process.
Another very important factor is that one needs to check their financial position before engaging in the negotiations. One needs to have a firm grasp on their finances or even have financial advisor explain their finances to them before negotiating. If one lacks the proper understanding of one's finances, one is advised to use a lawyer for the negotiations so as to avoid losing much more.
Flexibility is the third factor that one needs to consider. It is important to be able to keep an open mind and even being able to listen to the spouse's ideas is a bonus since the more alternatives available for the both of you, the higher the chances that you will be able to reach a workable parenting time agreement.
Finally, one should always have a strategy and a plan. One should be able to establish exactly what they want and come up with a plan and strategy to get there. It would be a good strategy, for example, to ask for something more than what you want so as to gain some bargaining space as well as so that you can have something to give up and not seem like you are always getting exactly what you want; this is because, for the negotiations to be successful, everyone has to feel like they are winning.
We can conclude that one can have a successful divorce settlement through direct negotiations, as long as one keeps the above factors in mind that can help to prevent the negotiations from going sour.